Thursday, October 26, 2006

Dang, I haven't updated this in a while.

Oh well, time to just do it.

I was born at Cedars of Lebanon in Hollywood. The former hospital is now the Scientologist world headquarters. This is an example of the area's odd permutations over the years.

The Hollywood Wax Museum has been in operation now since 1965. It's not the greatest wax museum in the's known for its singularly bad renditions of the Hollywood illuminati. It's also known for odd placement of its bad wax statues: The Terminator T-800 from the original movie with its face blown off is right next to the Last Supper. The world's weirdest and cheesiest wax museum actually is in Japan, but I wouldn't know it if Patrick Macias hadn't pointed that fact out to me.

Madame Tussauds, known for their uncannily GOOD wax statues, is now looking to put down stakes in Hollywood. They have their eyes on a site right next to the Chinese Theatre. This is bumming out the current owners of Hollywood and Highland, who also own the property, because they would rather see something more upscale and less touristy in that spot.

OK, I have the solution. Madame Tussaud's should just buy out the Hollywood Wax Museum. It's a building with lots of history behind it, and there's oceans of room for improvement there. Auction off the cheesy statues on eBay, because there is a known market for them. The place has a cult following just because it's so bad. Want a really funky-looking Shirley Temple for your living room? Bid for it. Then gut the place and start over again. No need to build, just get rid of all the cheesy props and stuff and do the place some justice.

Last year people were talking about the imminent closure of Movieland Wax Museum in Buena Park. The Hollywood Wax Museum kind of lived on that genuinely cool place's coattails, and benefitted from confusion between the two places. They shut their doors on November 1st, 2005 after a final Halloween fling.

Tussaud's could end all the confusion and have no competition anywhere nearby if they just bought the odd landmark. Added bonus: it's right next to the Snow White Coffee Shop, the coffee shop that Walt Disney started because he couldn't get a decent cup of coffee anywhere near his Hyperion Avenue original studio. Another added bonus: none of the folks who want to make Hollywood Boulevard more upscale will be offended by "yet another touristy attraction." They would just be displacing one for another. A simple solution to an otherwise confounding problem.